Against gods wishes
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: Haruhi has had a crush on Kyon for a long time now but was too stubborn to tell him how she felt. However Kyon has eyes for the charismatic Esper Itsuki. However how will Haruhi feel when she finds out why Kyon keeps avoiding her confessions? YAOI, KyonxItsuki, Uke Kyon, Itsuki Seme, Fluff, Angst
1. Chapter 1

Haruhi stormed down the hallway quickly her cheeks red with exhaustion and embarrassment. She had put this off for long enough and now it was time to bite the bullet. She had avoided this subject for months and now it was finally time to pull herself together and say it.

In the past, she had found relationships to be petty, time consuming and a brief form of happiness caused by the brain's chemicals. However, over time these feelings had collected and become stronger for one person; Kyon.

No matter how hard she tried she could not get Kyon out of her head. Seeing him getting close to another girl like Mikuru or Yuki only filled with unknown rage and other feelings. Besides it's not like he would find a girl better than her. She was fucking amazing and any guy would kill to be in his position; the amount of confessions she had rejected was endless.

He should feel lucky that a girl like her was rejecting the confessions of other men for someone as boring as him. There were plenty of guys willing to take his place as her boyfriend instead. However nobody seemed to piss her off more than Kyo; his words always seemed to bother her the most and now she knew why.

From what she recalled he would be in the club room after hours. Yuki and Mikuru were busy with after school jobs and clubs to earn money. Plus, around winter jobs were busier. This meant she could talk to him alone without any interference and finally be able to get these feelings off her chest. It had been bugging her for too long now anyway.

 _ **Meanwhile**_

Kyon rubbed his eyes sleepily and collected his things quietly. His body was still half asleep due to napping for too long. His bag, duffel coat and scarf were neatly folded over the chair. They didn't have coat hangers in the club room so it was the only alternative he seemed to have.

He placed his tea cup by the sink as he poured the last of his cold tea down the drain. However, it had been a good cup when he first started it but the cooling temperature had altered the taste. There was something truly off putting about cold tea and people who drank it made him shiver with disgust.

He gazed outside the window at the gentle falling snow and the condensation on the windows. Winter break started today so he looked forward to having a month off to enjoy the festive season.

He had no part time job but could relax and watch TV, catch up with his studies for after break, spend time with his friend and family and best of all…have a break from Haruhi. He had no doubt in his mind she would pester him with Christmas parties and other events. In all honesty, he would be glad to get away from her even if it was a month.

Itsuki gazed fondly at the darker brown haired male in a content manner. He had been somewhat disappointed that he could no longer gaze at the sleeping face of Kyon anymore. However, seeing him groggy and still half asleep was just as cute. His golden-brown eyes still hazy from sleep and yet filled with so many complex emotions.

While Kyon was adorable in everyday life he was even cuter asleep. His usually annoyed face calmed and more relaxed by sleep; it made a nice change compared to his usual personality. However he didn't hate that side of Kyon; in fact he found it even more adorable.

"So Kyon? You have any plans during winter break?" Itsuki asked curiously. He had been hoping to use this time to get to know Kyon better. The Esper had noticed for some time he had developed feelings for Kyon. Ones that extended friendship and reached into romantic levels of attraction.

He found himself getting lost in those golden-brown eyes, longing to run his hands through his dark brown locks, kiss his soft lips and feel his body against his own. While he knew, what he felt was taboo in modern era; two men loving each other. But he could deny it no further; he was attracted to and in love with Kyon.

Kyon was quite thrown off by his comment. He had half expected Itsuki to have business with his ESP group or management who spied on Haruhi. Weren't they busy all year round keeping the world safe from her stretch of capabilities in other universes?

However, he wasn't angry about it; in fact, for the longest time he had found himself crushing on Itsuki. However, he had no idea of how to tell the Esper how he felt about him. The fact that whenever he was around him body seemed to react and his heart raced a mile a minute; or he got butterflies in his stomach.

"Itsuki…." Kyon started hesitantly. Though he was used to spending every day with him at the club and sometimes meeting up for hours after high school; he had never done so in a romantic manner.

Suddenly the club room door slammed open with a loud bang. Haruhi stood outside the door still in her uniform and wearing a coat and scarf; carrying her bag. Her face was red and flushed from running here for whatever reason. She looked more upset than usual; which said a lot as Haruhi was often annoyed.

Haruhi looked up at Kyon her face red and her heart racing in her chest. God while she had pumped herself for this on the way her nerves were now kicking in. But she wasn't a coward and she would not be giving up so easy.

How the hell was she supposed to say "Kyon I love you" without making herself look like an idiot. Hell, how was she supposed to say it in the first place; such words were alien to her. She was not known for being lovey dovey or romantic in any way whatsoever.

Itsuki and Kyon said nothing simply staring at the young goddess quietly both of them baffled. Usually Haruhi was the first one to leave and not the type to hang around after hours.

She would march home fast as she could and do whatever she did on a regular basis at home. She had made it blatantly obvious many times just how much she hated school.

"KYON!" Haruhi yelled loudly her voice laced with nerves. God her heart was in her throat and she could feel herself shaking a little. Why couldn't she get a hold of herself?! Why was she acting like such a bumbling idiot?

Kyon frowned at her tone; could she never just once be civilized and ask nicely? He didn't care if she was god; manners couldn't hurt, could they? She just ordered him around as if speaking to a dog or servant.

"I need to talk to you _now"_ She retorted impatiently. The longer she left it; the worse she felt. She needed to say what was on her mind now before she went insane. It was already pissing her off as it was that she even felt such feelings for him.

Kyon scoffed at her rude attitude "Just tell me here; I doubt Itsuki would care about whatever you have to say" he retorted defiantly. Haruhi irked as her temper finally wore out. Storming into the room she walked up to Kyon and grabbed his necktie; then proceeding to drag him out of the room.

Itsuki stared in confusion and sadness as the boy he loved was dragged out of the room by god. Slamming the door for privacy in his face; showing she didn't want to be disturbed. Itsuki could not help but feel jealousy and sadness; no matter how strong his feelings for Kyon. He could not compete with the power of God; or Haruhi.

 _ **Outside**_

Kyon winced and panicked as he found himself slammed against the wall and pinned there in place by Haruhi. Just what the hell was she planning to do to him? Was she going to blackmail him into doing something dodgy?!

Haruhi glared up at Kyon her gaze adamant and her face redder than a pomegranate. She had to do it now; she had to say it now before she lost her courage. This was so fucking awkward and embarrassing; no wonder other girls always seemed so relieved afterwards.

Kyon backed himself up a little; for once in his life he was quite intimidated by Haruhi. While he was used to being dragged around he worried she may actually hit him. His back ached from being slammed against the wall and his neck throbbed from being dragged out of the room by his tie like a leash.

Haruhi took a deep breath "Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked sternly her tone straightforward. There she finally said it. She had noticed for a while Kyon was close to Mikuru and Yuki; of course, guys liked Mikuru because of her tits and being a Moe. But Nagato? What did she see in Kyon?

Kyon stiffened his cheeks adorning a gentle blush; why the hell was she so interested in his love life all of a sudden? She never seemed to care about him before; just forcing him to obey her orders like some dictator.

I mean he had an intense crush on Itsuki but had kept it a secret since they had first started working together. There was just something about him that drew him in like a moth to the flame. He was like a prince amongst commoners; he stood out like a sore thumb.

However, he didn't want rumours spreading about him or Itsuki being gay. His feelings didn't come down to Itsuki's gender; more his personality instead. If his friends found out they would only tease the crap out of him mercilessly. Haruhi would laugh at him or even become one of those obsessed Fujoshi fan girls.

Haruhi clicked her teeth in frustration at his lack of an answer to her question. "Damn it Kyon! I said do you have a _girlfriend_!" she snapped angrily. She was losing patience with him avoiding the question. Did he have someone he liked already? Was he seeing someone else in secret or what?!

Kyon felt embarrassment and anger welling up inside him. What business of hers was his relationships?! They weren't lovers nor were they friends! They were fucking classmates. He was so fucking sick of her bossing him around and acting like she was his pet dog. Why the hell she thought she could suddenly ask about his love life was beyond him.

" _No!_ I don't have a _girlfriend"_ Kyon growled in annoyance. How dare she butt into his personal life like this; didn't she have any shame whatsoever? Who he dated, who he fucked, who he was attracted to was none of her business. It was his own and he would like to keep it that way thank you very much.

Haruhi went quiet suddenly and bowed her head; however, she began to shake nervously but didn't budge. Ok time to say it; time to tell him how she felt. She could just get it over with; like pulling off a band aid. Quick and easy; no dodging and just getting the words out and tell him how she felt.

"K…. Kyon…. I…. I…like…." she stammered shyly. God her heart was racing in her chest and she felt a little sick; this is why she hated love with a passion. It made your feelings and behaviour not your own. Your body filled with chemicals and your behaviour pattern changed dramatically.

Suddenly before she could answer the club room door opened suddenly with a loud slam. This scared both Haruhi and Kyon causing them to separate from one another. She even let out a little cry of surprise due to shock.

Itsuki then appeared from the classroom his head bowed and a very unhappy aura about him. His expression was pained and he looked annoyed; which was odd for him. He briefly looked at the two but said nothing. He then walked past the two quietly not looking either of them in the eyes whatsoever.

However, as he got close to Kyon he looked the darker haired male in the eyes quietly. He forced himself to wear a hurt smile as he looked upon the boy he loved. "That's me off Kyon; I hope you have a good Christmas" he said in a pained manner trying to hide the heartbreak in his tone. Why did he ever think Kyon would be his?

Kyon felt his heart fill with despair and sadness; he could tell that the pain in Itsuki's heart was genuine. Seeing the boy, he loved look so heartbroken because of Haruhi's confession hurt him deeply.

Haruhi blinked as she watched Itsuki vanish down the hallway "Geez? What got into him?" she grumbled crossly. He was usually so easy going and nice. Just what had happened to him to piss him off?

Kyon stiffened anger filling him; it was all her fault. It was Haruhi's fucking fault that Itsuki was so unhappy. Because she was god she got anything her little heart desired. Nothing that anyone else wanted seemed to matter to her. Well fuck what god wanted; he was going to act on his own self-interest not hers.

He gripped his fists tightly and pushed past Haruhi and stormed into the club room shocking him. He then grabbed his things and prepared to head home. He didn't know what he was more upset about; Haruhi being so damn nosy or the fact that Itsuki had been so upset.

Haruhi was quite stunned in his sudden bad mood. Just what in the hell had gotten into him? "K…Kyon?" she asked hesitantly.

Kyon grabbed his things and stormed out of the room ignoring her completely. He had nothing to say to her right now; he was too angry. "Happy Christmas" he muttered under his breath as he walked away. It's not like god was ever bored over Christmas anyway.

Haruhi was left in the hallway confused and alone; she had no idea of what had just happened. Why was Kyon so mad? Why was Itsuki so mad? It made no sense. "What...what was that about?" she muttered to herself.

 _ **Later**_

Kyon was laid on his bed quietly curled up and his head buried under one of his arms. He was wearing a white shirt with long black sleeves, baggy jeans and white socks. He hadn't bothered eating; he had just changed and laid on his bed quietly since he got home. He was too upset to do anything else but ponder on what happened.

There was no doubt Itsuki had heard Haruhi's damn confession from the club room. His expression upon leaving had said it all without him speaking. His chest tightened as Itsuki's expression appeared in his head. How pained and truly close to tears he had looked upon leaving; forcing himself to smile as he left.

He had never seen Itsuki so upset and he knew why. It was obvious Itsuki felt the same way about him and upon hearing Haruhi confess had left out of being upset. That only made him have more resentment to the dimensional high school goddess.

Suddenly his little sister came into the room but he didn't budge. He wasn't in the mood for whatever she wanted right now; he just wanted to be alone.

She stood in the doorway quietly a look of concern on her face. Kyon had come back in a very bad mood; what was worse, he hadn't eaten and had spent nearly an hour in his room sulking.

Kyon never got upset; at least not to this extent. He usually brushed everything off so easy and took it like a champ; but now he was really upset. She approached the bed quietly walking slowly. As she reached the bed she sat down beside him hesitantly afraid of what to say to him.

"Onii-chan…. Are you ok?" she asked quietly her tone squeaky. She was doing her best to be a big girl and not cry. But she didn't understand why he was so unhappy. Kyon never got unhappy; he was always so calm and quiet.

Kyon rolled over to look at her and felt his anger subside a little. His sister really looked upset and he felt like shit for it. He had worried her with his own personal problems without meaning to.

It wasn't her fault about what happened and yet she was worried about him. He shouldn't have made her feel this way despite what happened. He sat up quietly and smiled fondly ruffling her head to reassure her "Onii-chan is ok. I'm just a little stressed out right now is all" he explained kindly.

His sister perked up a little but still looked worried "You promise?" she asked curiously. She worried she had done something to upset him.

Kyon hummed gently "Yeah I promise" he said kindly. He was upset about what happened but worrying his sister would do him no good at all. He would just have to put it out of his mind and enjoy his Christmas. However, he only hoped he would see Itsuki again; if only to explain what happened.


	2. C2: Big bro is an idiot

**Kyon sulks after what happened with Haruhi after school**

 **But ends up inadvertently hurting someone close to him**

Kyon lay on his bed quietly his eyes staring into oblivion. He hadn't moved from this spot in days. He had just stayed shut up in his room for the first week of Christmas break.

The rest of his school would be having Christmas parties, buying Christmas cake, singing carols and working part time jobs. The usual stuff that went down during this time of year.

But he was just lying here in his own misery. He didn't have the energy or will the will to do anything else. He was emotionally numb and he wanted to keep hiding for as long as possible. Until he couldn't feel anything anymore.

He hadn't eaten, he hadn't slept, he hadn't bathed, he hadn't done anything. The fact that he had hurt Itsuki was eating away at him. To know that the Esper prince who always smiled at everything; had made such an upset expression worried him. Because Itsuki hardly ever got upset at anything.

Every time he closed his eyes he kept seeing Itsuki. That same face with the pained look as he left. A look of total heartbreak spread across his face hidden by a charming smile.

No doubt he would be at home suffering in his own internal pain or trying to distract himself with work. Maybe telling his bosses about Haruhi's attempt to become closer at him.

He had made the boy he liked cry; he had hurt him so badly and he felt awful for it. He never meant to hurt anyone; but nobody could predict what Haruhi would do. She always had been hard to read.

Haruhi had always been spontaneous and went with the flow; but what she had done that day had come out of nowhere. It had even thrown Kyon for a loop. Seeing her act somewhat like a girl compared to her bossy and manipulative nature was new to him.

I mean she had been rough but no more than usual in his mind. He was more than used to her treating him like a servant and a pet; talking down to her and constantly giving him orders.

But to see her face flushed and anxious; at a loss for words and trying to say something serious. Now that had been a side of Haruhi he had never seen before. If anyone had asked he wouldn't have thought they were the same girl.

Haruhi trying to confess to him had hurt Itsuki; he had been hurt by the fact that God was trying to take away the boy he liked. Anyone who had feelings for someone else; to see the person they liked being flirted with by someone else. Now that would be enough to make anyone upset.

Kyon gripped his fists tightly and curled up; he wasn't gay by any stretch of the imagination. When it came to Itsuki it wasn't so much his gender he cared about but his personality.

Itsuki had always been odd and tended to come across as very forward; flirtatious even. However, he was charming, mischievous and intelligent; his unpredictability being his best trait.

The smooth talking, princely looking Esper had seduced him without meaning to and stolen Kyon's heart. But now he had probably broken the latter's with the possibility of dating God.

He growled crossly upon remembering and clenched his fists so hard the nails dug into his palms. It stung but he ignored it compared to the war that was going on inside his heart.

He had made Itsuki cry, he had allowed him to overhear Haruhi's attempted confession. He had rejected her mind you but because Itsuki left he could have quite possibly believed so.

"Damn it; why did this have to happen? Haruhi is always ruining my life" Kyon muttered bitterly. She just showed up out of nowhere and demanded things from people. Made them bend to her will and do whatever the hell she wanted.

She cared little about the feelings of other and what they wanted; how many times had he been pulled into her antics. Because of this she had hurt Itsuki and Kyon without realizing she had.

The bedroom door opened suddenly snapping his train of thought; his sister entered again. She was really worried about her big brother; she hadn't seen him in at least a week.

Whenever she spoke to him or asked him something he didn't respond. He just stayed in his room quietly and ignored her as if she didn't exist. He had just laid there in bed not eating, not sleeping, not talking, not doing anything. She was really worried about him.

"Kyon" she said hesitantly. She knew he liked to be left alone to peace and quiet but she was really worried about him. He hadn't eaten in a week meaning he might have lost weight. If he didn't eat he could die and she didn't want that.

She didn't know what was wrong but he had lied when he said he was ok. He wasn't acting like he normally would and it was scaring her. Was he sick? Had something bad happened? What about mummy and daddy were they ok? What wasn't he telling her?

Kyon didn't respond; he just kept laying there and blanked out what she said. He was barely even aware someone else was in the room with him. His mind was blank bar the feelings he had about Itsuki.

She stiffened and entered the room; she was gripping melon pan in her hand. They hadn't been shopping in a while so all they had were snacks. She didn't know how to cook but she helped out mama or Kyon when they were making dinner.

She wanted him to eat something but she didn't know how to make meals. She had always been told she was too young to use the cooker but when she started middle school she could take lessons.

She had searched through the cupboards before she eventually found something he may like. The last melon pan she had been saving for herself sitting in the back of the cupboard.

But there was sugar on it and sugar gave you energy. Maybe if Kyon ate this he might feel better and not stay in his room all day. "Kyon?" she asked again this time her voice braver.

She wanted to help him but she didn't know how. She didn't know what to say to make him happy. She was trying her best but it seemed that grown ups really did know best.

Kyon shifted but didn't reply; he didn't want to. He didn't have the energy to; he could barely even hear her speaking. Tears then began to well up in her eyes; had she done something wrong? Had she made him feel bad somehow?

She then gripped the melon pan tightly making it crunch and bowed her head. She didn't know what to do to make this better. "Kyon…. I…. I didn't mean to…. I'm sorry…please don't hate me" she sniffed quietly.

She would be a good girl from now on, she would behave better. She would help with the dishes, she would help clean the house, she wouldn't pester him anymore and she would go around to her friend's house more often.

As long as he didn't hate her anymore; she would do anything he wanted as long as he didn't hate her. She couldn't bare the thought of her big brother not liking her anymore.

Kyon's eyes snapped open and he heard someone crying. It was a girl; someone small. He began to gather his thought and came back to reality. Upon coming out of his daze he began to feel dizzy, hazy and weak. His stomach gurgled reminding him he hadn't eaten.

He felt weak and tired; lacking in energy but back to himself. How long had he been lying here? He had been so lost to his own thoughts. He turned around weakly to see his sister standing near his bed holding a snack and sobbing.

Had something happened? "Ai…." He said quietly his tone gentle. Had she hurt herself? Was she not feeling well? What had happened? He didn't really recall anything since their last conversation.

She perked up and rushed towards his bedside still crying "I'm sorry kyon! I'm sorry! Please don't be mad at me anymore!" she wept. Somehow she had messed up and done something wrong she just knew it.

Kyon stared at her in confusion; why would she be mad at him? He hadn't spoken to her in a week. He had barely even conversed with her. Then it hit him; his sister was still a kid thus misunderstood things very easily. Him sulking and hurting over Itsuki had affected her.

Because he had been sulking alone and not spoken to her she had somehow felt it to be her fault. Knowing this only made him feel worse about what he had done. He was supposed to be someone she could look up to at her age; not make her cry.

He sat up wearily and smiled at her "I'm not mad at you; I never could be. Big bro's just upset about something again. I'm sorry for being a jerk" he apologized softly. He had been a bad big brother.

She hiccuped and looked up at him with big eyes; one day she would be breaking hearts. Her baby face and big brown eyes would win any man over. But until then she was going to enjoy her childhood and would be dating no boys.

"You promise" she said tearfully her voice hopeful. She was glad he wasn't mad at her that really made her feel worried. Without their parents to consult about this she was all alone.

He smiled and nodded "I promise" he said kindly. Yet again he had made her cry without meaning to; which he felt bad for. The last time it had been over a week ago when he got home from school; now it was by ignoring her.

She wiped her tears away and smiled; she then handed him the melon pan proudly. If he ate this he might feel better. She knew it wasn't much but it was all they had left in the cupboard.

Kyon blinked and took the melon pan gently; they were her favourite yet she was giving it to him. She was that worried she was even giving him her favourite snack.

"You'll feel better now" she said kindly. Everyone got cranky when they were hungry; he was like a big kid. So if he ate this he would feel better and stop being upset right?

Kyon smiled and took it from her quietly; Ai had no idea of how to cook and she would most likely be getting hungry. If he recalled they had some ingredients to make curry.

"You want to share?" he said thoughtfully. This way she would have some energy while he got to make dinner. She blinked and then nodded; he patted the side of the bed gesturing her to come sit with him to which she obediently listened to him.

The two sat on the bed quietly to which he broke the melon pan causing sugar to explode in the packet. He then opened it and handed her the bigger piece of pan to eat. They then ate their snacks quietly and a gentle hum escaped his lips as the first piece of food in days entered his mouth.

"You feel better now?" she asked curiously taking a big bite of her own piece. That noise sounded like he was really enjoying the snack. Was he really that hungry?

Kyon smiled and ruffled her head affectionately. His sister truly was a sweet girl and he hoped she stayed this innocent a while longer before she grew up. "Yeah I feel much better" he said gratefully. Though it was only a small gesture it had meant a lot to him.

His sister smiled sweetly and hummed closing her eyes "I'm glad" she said happily. Kyon wasn't the same when he was feeling down and unhappy. She liked him better when he was in a happier mood.

Kyon looked at her with concern; she wouldn't be able to be left on her own for a while. She would most certainly have doubts that he was still ok. At her age girls were full of uncertainties and concerns.

"You wanna sleep with big bro tonight? Just to keep an eye on me?" he asked affectionately. It may ease some of her worries after all. Besides they didn't really spend much quality time together after all.

She perked up a little upon hearing this "Like a sleepover?" she asked eagerly. She had been to one in ages but if it meant she could spend time with Kyon she would be happy.

Kyon nodded smiling in slight amusement at her reaction "Mm hmm". After the way he had been ignoring her and making her worry; she deserved to be a little spoiled.

She then nodded eagerly and and her eyes lit up like stars "Yaay; thanks, Kyon you're the best" she said happily. She would have to find her teddy to snuggle with as Kyon may not want to.

Kyon smiled but his eyes became sad; his sister had cheered up but he was still sad. He was worried about Itsuki and what this would mean for the future. How would Haruhi's feelings effect the future?

He couldn't help the way he felt and he loved Itsuki; but would he be able to see him again? Or would he be forgotten because of Haruhi? Surely she would understand right?

He could only pray during Christmas he could bump into Itsuki again and say how he felt; to get these feelings off his chest. Otherwise he wouldn't know what he would do.


	3. C3: I don't want another

**So I'm back with a new chapter :)**

 **Kyon bumps into Itsuki a few weeks after the events before the winter break began**

 **Fluff and feels**

 **Please review**

 **Darkpheonix666**

Kyon sighed heavily as he exited his local shopping centre quietly. It was snowing out and very cold; but he found a sort of peace watching the frozen flakes fall to the ground.

The white blanket of frozen water falling from the sky and covering the ground. It was truly a beautiful part of nature and never failed to fascinate human kind. How frozen water could bring so many people together and make them feel strange things.

He had bought a Christmas cake for him and his sister to share. He had also bought some ingredients for dinner but accidentally bought a little too much. He lifted up the shopping bag examining it curiously.

"Oh well; at least we'll have leftovers" he muttered to himself. It would save on extra cooking at least for the next few days; no need to do quickie shops. But as much as would usually enjoy Christmas cake; his enthusiasm was rather lacking as of late. His heart was filled too much burden to feel any form of joy or happiness.

His heart was filled with sadness and loneliness; his thoughts travelling back to the first day of winter break. The day when Haruhi had tried to confess and he had run off while Itsuki had disappeared.

As he started to walk along the street his eyes remained pinned to the ground his heart heavy. Even though he was hiding his pain for the sake of his sister; he could not hide the hurt he was feeling.

He couldn't stop thinking about Itsuki and what could be going through his mind. If he even knew that he was hurting as much as he was; if not more. His heart filled with the same pain as Kyon's at not being able to be with the one he cared for. Heartbreak overcoming him as he may have lost Kyon to God.

Kyon was so lost in his own thoughts he failed to see someone walking into his path. There was an "oof" and a crack of the skull and some grumbling as both figures grabbed their heads.

Kyon growled crossly grabbing his head and holding onto the cake tightly. His head was aching in pain and his eyes stung a little with tears. "Damn it…" he muttered quietly. He had a right mind to chew this stranger out just to vent his own internal frustrations. It would make him feel better for a while.

He had spent the first week of his Christmas holidays laid in bed sulking over what happened. After speaking to his sister, he had felt better and even found it comforting. Being able to simply be in her company and forget about everything for a while.

They decorated the house a little and even watched some movies; cheesy but fun. While Kyon would have never considered it before; spending time with his sister helped forget his pain.

"I…I'm sorry. I was distracted; forgive me" the voice said apologetically. That voice sounded familiar; but why? He had heard it somewhere before but he couldn't quite recall why.

Kyon looked up still gripping his head and his eyes widened. There standing in front of him was the boy he had spent a week sulking over. Whom he was still sulking over; whom he very much loved and wished to confess to. Only what if he hated him now?

He had hated how Itsuki had overheard what Haruhi had tried to say; implicating that they were now a couple. When in fact he had no interest in Haruhi whatsoever; never did and never would.

His heart filled with guilt at causing Itsuki this pain; about the fact that he had been listening and overheard what happened. That he could have left or pushed her away but couldn't.

"Itsuki?" Kyon said in surprise a hint of joy evident in his tone. He never would have thought he could miss someone so much. He had missed his teasing, his playfulness, his charm and those eyes. God, Itsuki was gorgeous and he had missed looking at his stupid face so much.

Itsuki blinked and felt a sharp pain in his chest upon seeing Kyon before him. So, he had bumped into the one person he had been trying to avoid; because being around him made his heart ache.

Knowing he belonged to someone else and yet he still wanted him. He still wanted Kyon to be his and didn't care about what would become of it. How strange the human heart was when it came to matters of love.

He forced one of his usual smiles on his face and turned his tone into his usual friendly tone. He would hide the pain he was feeling no matter what so he couldn't show how it was truly eating him alive.

"Are you enjoying your Christmas?" he asked curiously. At least around this time of year he could have time to himself away from the SOS Brigade. The one thing he loved to complain about with a passion above anything else.

Kyon made it evident whenever possible that he hated all of the hi-jinks that Haruhi forced them into. All the problems she caused of her own will that caused him and everyone else no end of trouble.

Kyon hesitated and then gripped his hands into fists. This needed to be cleared and misunderstandings needed to be fixed. He wasn't interested in Haruhi and nothing had happened. She had tried to confess and he had run away leaving her alone. They were not a couple by any means.

"I…Itsuki. About before…. I…. I'm…I mean…" he stammered awkwardly. By a physical standpoint Haruhi was attractive; but her personality was awful. She was proof that a cute face didn't always have a personality to match.

She was loud, annoying, bratty, selfish, manipulative and controlling. She pulled him into trouble and gave him no end of shit and always had something to chew her out on.

He had no interest in dating her and barely tolerated her at best. He still worried about her but in a platonic sense and not romantic. She would always be a friend to him and a weird memory to look back on; but not a future girlfriend.

Itsuki stiffened and his smile tightened "Its fine. I mean you always did say ponytails were your turn on, right?" he said in a sharp tone. Being a guy he was kind of lacking in that cute factor; having short hair and all.

He had seen Kyon's eyebrows become suggestive and his eyes lit up when he saw Mikuru or any other girl with ponytails. Now that Haruhi had picked up the style surely, she was his type too.

He then turned and started to walk away leaving Kyon in the cold by himself. Being around him was too painful; his heart filling with sadness. He just hoped that Kyon would be happy with her.

Kyon stood in the cold snow covered street quietly staring at the back of the boy he loved. He was leaving him again and he couldn't stand it. It was too much to handle all over again.

He had waited for so long to see him again and now he was leaving him. He was going away and Kyon didn't want that; he wanted him to stay. He did care about Haruhi in his own way; he worried about her wellbeing and what hijinks she got into. But only as a friend or a sister and nothing more than that.

He could never look at her romantically or sexually; he just couldn't feel that way for her. But he could and did feel that way about Itsuki and he was not going to lose him again.

Kyon found himself running; faster than he ever though he could in his life. His mind going blank and barely aware of anything not even the snow that was falling around him.

He slammed into Itsuki's back hard and gripped onto his arms tightly like a vice. His nose buried into his back and his eyes stinging with tears as he held onto the boy for dear life.

Itsuki who had not expected this of Kyon felt his eyes widen in awe at the sudden contact. He could feel Kyon's racing heart and heavy breath behind him making his own heart race.

" _Nothing_ happened between me and Haruhi. Right after you left I ran away and left her standing there. I never accepted her confession; you have to believe me" he said abruptly his tone desperate.

Itsuki stiffened and felt relieved yet apprehensive. How was he to know that Kyon may not be lying and this was all a dream made up of his own desires. That this wasn't real at all and just made up.

"Do you mean it Kyon? I can tell when you're lying you know" he replied in a hostile manner. He could read Kyon better than he knew and could tell when he was hiding something.

Kyon stiffened and a pained feeling hit his chest; Itsuki didn't believe him? Even though it was the truth "What reason would I have to lie?!" Kyon spat bitterly. He kept his secrets yes but he never lied about his feelings.

Itsuki sighed and took a deep breath his frustration obvious "I'll ask you again Kyon. Are you telling the truth?" he asked sharply. He would not forgive him if he was lying and manipulating his feelings.

Kyon then gripped Itsuki's arms tighter as if he may shatter if he let go _"Yes._ I mean every single word of it. I _swear"_ he insisted. He didn't want Haruhi; he didn't care if she was god. He didn't have any interest in pursuing her whatsoever.

His heart wanted Itsuki and nothing would change that. He cared little for what Haruhi would do and only wanted Itsuki by his side. He never wanted to be apart from him again it was just too painful to bare.

Itsuki relaxed and a small smile spread across his face. He had waited for this moment for so long and now it had finally happened. Even if it wasn't in the way he imagined.

"Well then; I don't have to hold back any longer" He said in a playful tone. Even if it upset god; he wasn't letting go of Kyon ever again. He was marking him as his own and only he could touch him, hold him or love him.

To the latter surprise, he turned around quickly to face the darker haired male and grabbed his shoulders tightly preventing him from moving. His grip strong but not painful; simply making sure Kyon couldn't run away.

He then slammed his lips into Kyon's locking him in a passionate kiss. This was even better than he imagined it would be. Kyon's lips were so soft and warm; a wonderful feeling.

His hazel eyes closed slowly allowing him to enjoy the sensations even better; smoldering with the desire he felt. He didn't want this moment to ever end; he wished it would go on forever.

Kyon's eyes widened as Itsuki locked lips with him in a passionate embrace. He was somewhat startled by the suddenness of it but was anything but unhappy. He felt like fireworks were going off around him.

The feeling of Itsuki's soft lips and peppermint breath. This felt better than any of his generic fantasies he had ever had about the Esper. Using his free hand, he reached up to grip Itsuki's coat tightly for support. The other one gripping the cake box like a lifeline.

After all the misery, the sulking, the grief, the loneliness and the pain; he felt his heart soar and all his worries ease away. Nothing could stop how amazing this felt. Nothing could take this moment away from him; he wouldn't let anyone or anything steal his happiness.

The two stood in the snow for a while locked lips and kissing each other. Time slipping away and neither noticing the cold of the falling snow around them. A few people stared and whispered but none attempted to disturb their passion.

Eventually the two pulled away breathlessly; their breath evident in the cold night air. Their faces flushed and their eyes locked on each other intensely. Itsuki's hazel eyes locked on Kyon's deep brown ones. A silent unspoken conversation of love and longing being shared between the two males.

Itsuki hesitated momentarily then eventually said "Go out with me" sternly. Now that he had Kyon in his arms he was not going to give him up to anyone. He would fight anyone if it meant keeping Kyon in his arms like this.

He knew he was risking a lot by going against god and stealing Kyon from her. But he wasn't going to hand Kyon over even if she tore hell apart to take him back. God would just have to learn you don't get everything you want.

Kyon felt his cheeks heat up upon hearing Itsuki confess. He never thought he would hear the day when his crush would return his love. Usually that sort of thing only happened in cheesy Shoujo Manga novels not real life; yet here they were.

He then bowed his head shyly and buried his nose in his scarf; still holding onto the espers coat tightly. "Yes" he said quietly. God, he looked like a schoolgirl. But he was truly happy to be with the boy he loved and know his feelings were mutual.

Itsuki smiled to himself and then approached Kyon slowly. He then wrapped his arms around Kyon and pulled him into a tight hug. Nothing could ruin this moment whatsoever; he was perfectly happy and in such a good mood nothing could bring him down.

He loved Kyon and Kyon felt the same way; their love was mutual and he wanted nobody else. Not even god could tear them apart; he would never let that happen again.


	4. C4: Alone time

**Yeah I'm back with more, no idea how long its been since I updated**

 **anyway, please review with what you think**

Kyon sat quietly by the table, absentmindedly holding his cup while he allowed his mind to wonder. His thoughts spiraling out of control like a storm, if they were visible it would look like a dark cloud forming behind sound of the tv in the background, breaking the silence in the room. Some random show turned on for background noise.

They hadn't spoken much on the way home, as the whole thing had been emotional, and tension had been heavy. Not really knowing what to say to each other or how to explain everything that had happened between them. He hadn't expected to see Itsuki until next year and be able to explain what happened. The tension and guilt all but eating away at him.

Feeling as though he had committed a crime or betrayed him in some way, even though he had actually done nothing of the sort to him. He had simply been confronted by god and asked if he was in a relationship with anyone. Which at the time he had not but now he was indeed in a relationship with his classmate and club member Itsuki.

Something he wished he had done a long time ago, that he did in fact care about him. He felt bad for everything, even though he hadn't actually done anything wrong. He had seen it in his face as he had left. The heartbreak of knowing that Haruhi was interested in him romantically. He understood he would be upset and angry, there had been chemistry between them for a while.

But Haruhi being god there were places he could not interfere out of fear of what Haruhi would do. She was capable of manipulating reality into what she wanted, more often that not effecting Kyon. He could only what she would do once Kyon gave his answer and rejected her confession. Her abilities knew no limit after all, she could end the world for all he knew.

 _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned_ like the saying went. And Haruhi was already stubborn and hot headed, so god knows what she would do when she was rejected. Maybe tear apart the world, accidentally summon monsters to wreck havoc or maybe wish he would die. Sending Asakura after him in order to do as Haruhi wished.

The endless possibilities of what she would do to him knew no bound. She was unaware of her powers and what she was actually capable of, which made her even more dangerous. He hoped she never actually understood what she was capable of and how to control them, she would become some form of malevolent dictator.

But he didn't feel that way about her, sure he had grown accustomed to her. But he saw her more as an annoying friend or little sister, nothing romantic towards her whatsoever. She may have been able to control reality and dimensions, but she couldn't control him or his heart. He was free to do whatever he wanted, and she couldn't stop him from doing so.

He sighed under his breath as he gazed at the other boy beside him. A happiness he hadn't felt in a long time flowing through him, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt so relaxed. Though he didn't mind spending time with Yuki or Mikuru, Yuki was often absorbed with books and didn't make a good conversation companion. And Mikuru made little to no sense when speaking.

Itsuki was sat opposite him shyly, sipping his tea and occasionally eating his slice of cake. Not knowing what to say, after all it had been some time since he had spoken to Kyon. They hadn't spoken since that day when Haruhi pulled him out into the hall and attempt to confess. But he just couldn't stand to be nearby, to hear her confessing to the person he liked.

Though he had been on his mind a lot after what happened, he had kept his distance to allow him and Haruhi to develop a relationship. Understanding that it was best to back off despite his feelings for Kyon. Their relationship was considered taboo by human law, but it was slowly becoming accepted. However, there would still be many out there who would judge them. He couldn't bring himself to put Kyon through that.

It had hurt him greatly to do, hating that he had to give something up in order to appease god. But he knew if he didn't, that the outcome of the situation would be because of him. Not once had Kyon left his mind and he had thought of him all this time. Seeing him again had allowed him to confirm just how important to him Kyon actually was. Causing him to fear he would never get over him.

Though, he had never seen things going this way. To see Kyon again and realize that he was obtainable. Though he knew Haruhi would not be happy about it, they could worry about that later. For now, he wanted to make up for the lost time they had been apart from one another. Allowing him to look upon Kyon's face again, to gaze into those eyes and enjoy his company.

Kyon had felt guilty for leaving things the way they had been when they left school for Christmas. He thanked his luck that he was able to run into him and explain everything that had been on his mind. The two of them coming to terms with their feelings for each other. Aware of the fact that this would cause troubles in the SOS brigade and how they would have to keep it a secret.

He had invited him round after what had happened. Wanting to make up for causing Itsuki so much trouble and hurting him the way he did. I mean, he must have been sulking about it for some time. The guy may have worn a happy face and acted calm around others. But no doubt he would be hiding a storm of emotions inside of his heart. I mean aside from his powers the guy was still human.

Itsuki overheard everything that Haruhi had said that day, the expression he had worn when leaving. It had been obvious to see that he was heartbroken over what had happened that day. Though he acted like the nice guy and helpful, Itsuki wore a mask to hide his real feelings. Making sure nobody could ever read him. Due to being an Esper, he had to keep his personal life and work life separate.

Itsuki was the type of guy who would never show his real feelings to anyone, no matter what. Hiding it constantly with a sad smile despite the pain that would be lingering in his heart. Only those who were closest to him or could read him well, could see the real emotions in his eyes. Despite the expression he would be wearing on his face, Kyon being one of those few people.

His younger sister sat in the background quietly, eating her own cake while watching cartoons. This would keep her appeased until bedtime at least, giving them some peace and quiet to talk. She would occasionally look over at them or ask things from her brother, but she was a good girl and knew when to not disturb. However, that didn't stop her from worrying over her brother.

Eventually Itsuki broke the silence, easing the tension from the air. Wanting to speak up to create some form of conversation. As he himself was growing uncomfortable with the silence. He could sense that Kyon was worried about him and though he was trying hard to remain mature. He could feel himself becoming insecure and worrying over what the latter could be thinking about.

Instead of allowing him to worry over unnecessary things, it was best to break the silence. Allowing them to ease into comfort before any misunderstandings were to take place. "Y… Your uh home is very lovely, and your sister is quite cute" he replied awkwardly. This was the most common used form of social topic wasn't it? Usually speaking about a person's home or family member.

He wasn't used to socializing outside of the club or being an esper, so this was an alien experience to him. That being said he had been avoiding Kyon for some time after what had happened with Haruhi. He knew it had been a childish thing to do, but he felt he couldn't compete with god. So, he had backed down and decided to let her have what she wanted, despite how much it had hurt to do so.

Kyon blushed a frown on his face, he didn't need to sugar coat it to make him feel better. His home was an average house but well cared for, he didn't need to try and be polite about it. They could just act the way they always did, but accept that what had had happened between them did happen. Moving past it maturely and accepting their new relationship and the consequences it would bring.

"Its not much, your place and Yuki's is way better than this" he replied awkwardly. His parents had overseas jobs with companies, but they could afford a nice place like this after all. However, it was his home and he had been raised here. So though it was nothing fancy, he found comfort returning here after a long day and finding sanctuary in his room.

Itsuki smiled, this was what he had missed the most. Kyon's awkward, stuttering blushing face. How whenever he was complimented or shown kindness he immediately got embarrassed. This would be why Haruhi would take an interest in him, because he stood up to her. He didn't kiss her ass and he had an attitude when pushed enough. It was just a very rare thing to see.

This was what caused him to tease Kyon so much, he just loved to see this reaction. His usual calm demeanor crack and become a flustered mess that could barely get out a sentence. Kyon usually acted docile, quiet, indifferent and yet opinionated. Get him flustered or panicked enough, you had a completely different guy in front of you. Which was always interesting to watch.

Itsuki then reached out his hand slowly to take Kyon's hand in his own. Though they were now inside, his hands were still cold from the snow. The tea not really warming him fast enough. He sought warmth, comfort and the person who made him feel that was Kyon. So of course, he would seek what he wanted from the person he cared for. I mean, they were in private now, so nobody would see.

His younger sister would pay no attention and was off in her own little world. He doubted she would mind very much anyway, she appeared to be a very open minded young girl for her age. Right now all she cared about was her crayons, her sweets and whatever was on the TV, she would be happy with those for hours. So they could have their peace.

Kyon's hands were so soft, such slender fingers and well cared for. Stroking them absentmindedly before pulling it close to his face making Kyon blush harder. Pleased that he was able to get such a reaction out of the other male, as he was so interesting to watch. He then began to blow on Kyon's hands attempting to warm them.

Though it would take time to make up for hurting Kyon by ignoring him, he could start with this. Showing him the affection he had craved from him for so long but was never able to obtain. He knew that by being with Kyon he would upset Haruhi and cause problems as she was god. But he didn't care, he would happily let her have her meltdown, but he would not give up Kyon.

Kyon panicked, when he was comfortable enough Itsuki could be a very flirtatious individual without even trying. He was just a natural charmer allowing people to easily trust him and gain information he needed. Though he was popular with girls, Itsuki said he couldn't have a relationship with them. Saying how an outsider could never know about his true identity as an esper, or it would cause problems.

He could have dated Mikuru or even Yuki as they knew about Haruhi's true nature. I mean he and Mikuru did look good together but Yuki tended to act neutral about any form of relationship that came her way. But then again, he was on friendly terms with them, but neither were interested in a relationship. So, he did feel somewhat grateful that Itsuki liked him back.

However, though their relationship had now changed to an intimate one they had only been dating an hour. He wasn't used to this sort of familiar gesture or physical contact yet. He did have strong feelings for Itsuki, but he had never been the most popular guy. But that didn't mean he didn't care, he was just the type of guy who tended to keep his feelings to himself.

Sensing Kyo's shyness and hesitance, Itsuki couldn't help but want to tease him more. He just looked so cute right now that he couldn't help but get a rise out of him. Itsuki flashed him one of his signature sweet smiles that made Kyon go weak in the knees. "Can you warm me up?" he asked playfully. This way they would generate heat faster.

He was only doing what came naturally in this sort of situation, nothing more. The two of them had been out in the cold for a long time, their bodies losing heat due to the lower temperatures. So of course, they would need to heat their bodies before they got too cold. Otherwise they would get sick. Nothing serious of course, but a fever or cold may come from it.

Kyon blushed at the implied reference Itsuki just made, he could say anything, and it would immediately sound dirty. He just had that type of personality that screamed tease. Knowing just how to wind him up. It had become a habit of his to do so ever since he joined the damn club. Always picking on him the most, it was like the club was less about research and more about annoy Kyon day.

However, he never expected Itsuki to be the type of guy to be so forward in a relationship. He just sounded so casual and gentlemanly when they were at school, the type of guy girls dreamed about. But behind closed doors he was able to charm the pants off anyone, both figuratively and literally. Able to make anyone fall in love with him at first sight, though with Kyon it took more work.

Itsuki blinked as he saw Kyon's embarrassed face, he certainly was easy to mess with today. But he was simply asking for Kyon's hand in order to warm up a little due to being out in the cold for so long. He knew Kyon could take care of himself, but he felt bad for all he had put him through. So he was repaying him for his kindness, as well as taking the next step as their new role as lovers.

He stared at the other male silently, sensing he was embarrassed about something. Though he didn't seem uncomfortable with his physical contact so what could be wrong. He had not done anything to make him uncomfortable or overstep his boundaries, so what could be wrong. He tried to think of every possible option that could be the answer to Kyo's actions.

He then remembered that being a normal male, Kyon was of the teenage mindset. During this time his body would be learning all sorts about the female and in this case male body. He then smirked playfully and rubbed Kyon's hand "pervert" he teased. Turning such an innocent gesture into something of adult content, he really was still a teenager in that sense.

Kyon clicked his teeth, how was he supposed to act when Itsuki was stroking him and giving him those bedroom eyes. He hadn't had many relationships before, so this was all new to him. "Look whose talking" he retorted defiantly. Itsuki was as much as a perv as he was, so this made them equal in that area. So, he was simply calling him out on his bullshit.

Itsuki blinked and them chuckled, he wasn't wrong though. Many times, he had imagined Kyon. Kissing him, hugging him, holding his hand, what his face would be like when they fucked. But that was what someone did when they had a crush, they made you into a pervert. They made you want to do naughty things. That didn't make you a bad guy, just honest.

Kyon simply blushed as Itsuki continued to laugh, feeling as though he was being teased. But he was happy, because they were finally honest with each other. They had been able to confess how they felt. He knew he would have to face Haruhi again at some point, no doubt she would confront him about her confession. But he could worry about that later, he had plenty of time before that.

They had a lot of time to spend together during Christmas to look forward to. As long as he didn't run into Haruhi during that time they would be fine. Unless she wished to see him or something like that. So, until then, he would continue to live in this bliss. Silence and enjoying the quiet of the moment. Just being able to spend time with Itsuki, just like he had always wanted from the beginning.


	5. C5: How I feel

**Yeah I'm back with this story, I don't even know if anyone still reads this. Hope you like the new update**

Kyon sighed heavily, pushing the door to the club room wearily. Not looking forward to what he would have to face after his wondrous time away from school and the stresses of high school life. Though he was usually neutral around the festive season, this year had been rather pleasant. Being able to spend time with Itsuki had been rather comforting, instead of just being alone with his sister. However, due to being an Esper Itsuki had been busy for a lot of it but made time as much as he could for Kyon.

Being able to share Christmas cake and turkey curry with Itsuki and his sister had been really fun. Watching festive films and cuddling up beside a warm fire had been a very pleasant experience. Nothing excessively fancy and over the top but still one of the best Christmas's he had experienced in a very long time. His sister had even accepted Itsuki as a member of the family and called him big brother too, not minding that he was involved with her brother.

But now the fun and games was over and it was back to reality, returning to the life of a boring high school student involved in a pointless club ran by an eccentric teenager. Knowing that he was going to get dragged around again by Haruhi's whims and there was nothing he could do about it. At least he had Itsuki now to keep him grounded and feel comforted when things got too much for him.

He was pleased to find the club room was empty for once, meaning he could enjoy blissful peace and quiet for a while. Knowing he must have arrived early, so nobody could scold him for being tardy. He sighed heavily, closing the door behind him and pacing towards the table. He placed his coat and satchel over the chair before turning on the gas stove. Brewing himself some tea to warm up, given it was still cold outside and he doubted the heating would be turned on just yet.

The last thing he wanted to do was get sick as that would only give Haruhi more of an excuse to give him shit. He switched on the small electric heater they purchased for the club room. Being a small storage/abandoned club room, the room was not fitted with radiators. So, they bought a small electric heater for the winter seasons. The room starting to feel cozier and comforting already. Feeling as though he was back home again, remembering the memories of cake and curry again.

However, his peace and quiet was not to last. His previous mild and neutral mood soon to change to slight irritation. Facing a problem, he had been trying to face since last year. The door to the club room opened once more, signalling the arrival of another club member. He prayed mentally that it would be Yuki or Mikuru, but alas it was the very person he had been trying to avoid.

Haruhi opened the club room door quietly, wearing a thick winter coat, cardigan and warm scarf. Her cheeks red from the cold and a weary look on her face, obviously not happy to be back at school either. Upon looking up, she caught sight of Kyon standing by the stove. The light golden light of the sun beaming through the window, his brown eyes hinting a slight amber gleam to them. Her heart fluttering lightly in her chest, but she hid the fact of how happy she was to see him again.

She hadn't seen him since that day before Christmas when she tried to confess her feelings. She had tried to contact him during Christmas, but he had never replied making her worry he was mad. When she tried to find him by chance, she never seemed able to. She had worried he had been mad at her for whatever reason, frustrated at why he didn't understand her feelings. But now she had been given a new chance to make a move and attempt to pursue a relationship with him. She wouldn't let him slip through her fingers again.

But she was glad he was happy, Kyon always seemed to have something on his mind and that made him worry. There were times when she worried he tended to overthink things and let too many of his problems get the better of him. "So, you enjoy your freedom from responsibility at Christmas? Now that your back, don't think you can still laze around as much, got it?" she replied brashly. Mentally cursing herself for the bitchy response which would obviously leave him in a bad mood. Why could she never just be cute and playful like Mikuru was?

Kyon blushed, his mind filling with memories of spending Christmas with his younger sister and newly acquainted lover. Silly, stupid, simple things but they made him so happy, given his parents were always away on business and tended to babysit his sibling. But having Itsuki around made him so happy, adding a sense of comfort to him. "Yeah, I did. In fact, I'd say it was the best Christmas I've had so far" he confessed shyly. Until now he had never really made a big deal out of Christmas, but now it was something he remembered fondly.

Haruhi sighed under her breath in relief, to know that Kyon's tension had eased since then. Glad to know he wasn't mad at her after what happened, but she would never let him know that. It would be far too awkward to have to deal with. She may as well take this chance while she had, their team mates could show up at any moment and ruin this opportunity. "Listen Kyon, about what I said before that time. I need to get an answer" she replied abruptly her tone awkward. She could only wait so long to get an answer from him.

Kyon stiffened, having hoped he could forget all about this conversation. She had no idea he wasn't interested in her, let alone that he was dating Itsuki in a homosexual relationship. Gods knows what would happen if she found out he was dating him. But he had to tell her the truth, stringing her along by not being honest about his answer would simply be cruel. It was best to just get it over and done with, like ripping off a band aid when you hurt yourself. Avoiding the matter would only make things worse for him.

Haruhi swallowed, clenching her fists with a light dusted blush on her cheeks. God, admitting this sort of stuff was so embarrassing and stupid, but she had to speak her mind before she went insane. "I… I know I'm hard to handle, I'm not exactly the girly type like Mikuru and I can be a bit of a bitch sometimes. But… you're not like other guys, you don't try to impress me, I think we'd be good together" she stammered in a reserved manner. Their dates would never be boring and she would always keep him on his toes, that's what guys liked right? She heard it all the time from their other classmates.

Kyon could sense the earnest tone in her voice, she was being utterly serious about her feelings. He never thought a girl like Haruhi was even capable of romantic attachment or interested in relationships at all. He knew what it was like to develop an unrequited crush on someone. He felt bad that he was going to reject her, given she was really nervous about this. But he really loved Itsuki and he didn't what to ruin what they had. Given all they had on the line just by seeing each other.

He bowed his head, staring at the kettle blankly as it continued to boil. God, of all times he had to deal with this situation now. "Gomen, Haruhi. I appreciate the gesture, given you tend to think of relationships as a waste of time, so I'll take it as a compliment. But… I've been seeing someone for at least a month now, and I really care about them" he confessed in a sombre tone. Haruhi was a pretty girl, she was certainly outspoken and didn't take crap from anyone. She was both admirable and a pain in the ass, but he had feelings for Itsuki. He was drawn to the mysterious and playful Esper, feeling a sense of unspoken comfort whenever they were together.

Haruhi stood where she was in silence, her eyes widening and a look of hurt flashed across her face. A painful silence echoing through the room before gripping her hands into fists, her anger firing up all at once. " _What?!_ Since when have you had a girlfriend? You're the most apathetic person I know! What girl would be interested in someone like you?" she snapped in a hurt tone. She knew she was starting to sound cruel and pushing him away, but all of her feelings were coming out at once. Who had been the one to make a move first and confess their feelings to Kyon? Wondering if it had been Mikuru or possibly even Nagato, he did spend a lot of time with them after all. Was he one of those Moe fanboys?

Kyon irked, his mood abruptly worsening, his peaceful morning being ruined by her presence. God, why did she always try to control his life? What he did and whom he hated was none of her business. She may have been god, but he had no interest in being her puppet. " _Whomever_ I date is _my_ business, thanks. I don't have to tell you about who I may or may not be involved in. You can't control every damn aspect of my life, you're my club president and classmate. Not my damn sister or wife!" Kyon snapped fiercely. He knew he sounded like a jerk, but he was sick of her always being so intrusive, there was such a thing as personal space and privacy.

Haruhi stiffened, going quiet. She felt her throat tightening and going sore, her breathing hitching and wanting to quicken. Her eyes shining over with tears, but she held them back, but her hands were shaking with rage and hurt. Trying her hardest to restrain the storm of emotions raging inside of her in that minute. Her face becoming a pout, turning on her heels and storming angrily out of the club room. She couldn't face him right now, it hurt too much "The club is shut today, do whatever you want" she snapped.

Kyon stood in the club-room, the painful silence echoing in his ears. The kettle starting to slowly whistle as he was reminded of his desired cup of tea. He knew what he had just done would have tempered with reality because of her rage. But right now, he couldn't care less, even god had to deal with unfairness and disappointment sometimes. She would face plenty of heartbreak in the years to come, this situation being no different and something she would have to tolerate.

* * *

Mikuru gripped her chest tightly, her whole-body ringing. A temporal shift had just happened, a crack in time had shifted. Something was wrong, Haruhi was very angry about something and she could feel it. But what could have happened so suddenly, until now everything had been very quiet. Her gut screamed that something was wrong, she had to speak to Kyon and figure out what had happened. If it wasn't so bad, they could fix it, but if not, they would have a lot of work on their hands. She would have to speak to her fellow teammates and check on the timelines. To see if everything was in place and how bad the situation was.

"Miss Suzumiya is very angry, but the club hasn't started yet. I wonder what could be wrong" she muttered. She had a bad feeling in her stomach and something didn't feel right. She would have to talk to Kyon about this later and figure out just what had gone wrong, hopefully nothing serious had happened and she was just overthinking things too much.

* * *

Itsuki gripped his fists, his whole body shaking. Leaning against a wall as he tried to catch his breath. Sensing something was terribly wrong, what was worse he knew why. He knew the risks by becoming involved with Kyon, but he hadn't cared and followed his feelings. Now he was paying the risks for it by upsetting god, afraid of what the consequences would be. He knew Yuki would sense it too and she would get in contact with them about the situation. But he was not going to give up Kyon, he knew it was selfish, but he didn't want to let him go. Just wanting one thing to himself, even if it angered god.

* * *

Kyon sat in silence at the club room table, not knowing where Haruhi had skulked off to and sulk and he didn't care less. You couldn't help who you fell in love with and she wasn't the one he had feelings for. Unrequited love was just something she would have to deal with. Gripping the cup of tea in his hands, he stared into the cup silently trying to figure out his feelings on the situation. Things had been going so well, then Haruhi had to make things difficult and unable to let things go. God, he wished it would all just go away.

The club room then opened abruptly to which he frowned, expecting it to be Haruhi coming back to chew him out about his new relationship. Sometimes he wondered if she had any free time at all, needing to get her own life away from this club. However, upon looking up he was pleasantly surprised to see his boyfriend in the doorway. Itsuki was standing in the doorway, looking worried and impatient. Glad to see the face of his lover but worried about the situation they were now in. Blaming himself for being so careless and selfish for going after Kyon.

Kyon sighed, knowing why he was in such a rush. Haruhi's mood had obviously caused some kind of damage to their reality with her little sulking session. "How bad is it?" he asked in displeasure. Just when he had hoped to put her out of his mind. But he was none the less happy to see his boyfriend again, just looking at his angelic face brought him so much happiness he couldn't really put it into words. But given who he was dating, a lot of surprises and drama were bound to show up in the near future.

Itsuki rubbed his eyes wearily, sighing too but even heavier than Kyon. Things hadn't been as bad as they feared, but she had certainly given them a scare. "Her little outburst caused a crack in the dimensions, but luckily nothing too serious. Hopefully if she stays calm for a while it should heal quickly". She definitely knew how to keep people busy with problems, but if she could give them a break every now and again, he would feel very relieved.

Kyon frowned, he wasn't going to apologize for dating Itsuki. He wasn't going to apologize for following the whims of a selfish, obnoxious and manipulative girl who hated being said no to. He had experienced plenty of heartbreak and rejection in the past, but he dealt with it just fine. So why couldn't she learn to do the same, accept that he would never look at her that way and move on. There were plenty of other guys she could date instead. "So, what? God gets dumped and suddenly she's got the right to punish everyone because things aren't going the way she wants?" he huffed.

Itsuki frowned, knowing how frustrating this was for Kyon but he had a duty despite his attachment to the latter. "Unfortunately, Haruhi is no ordinary girl. Given she's a teenage girl her powers are rather wild and uncontrollable" he confessed. Her powers seemed to be connected to her mental and emotional state, meaning her interests would be quite sporadic. Given the fact that her first crush had rejected her despite her long term feelings, she wouldn't get over this too easily. But hopefully she would find someone new eventually.

Kyon clicked his teeth defiantly, he was so sick of hearing this already. Haruhi, Haruhi, Haruhi, she was the worlds most spoiled person, literally a deity. "She can't control everything! Not everyone wants to kiss her ass and obey her!" he growled. There were times in the past when he considered her cute, but he could not feel romantic affections for her. Their relationship was way too much like a brother and sister, he couldn't feel romantic feelings for her.

Itsuki sensed the hurt in Kyon's tone, knowing he was frustrated about the situation. Feeling guilty for throwing all of this onto him, neither had asked to be in this relationship. But they had known the consequences of what would happen when they became involved. Knowing that the latter really cared about him and was trying to be a loyal lover. He then approached Kyon silently and wrapped his arms around him protectively. Sensing him tense up and then relax into his embrace, his heart filling with pain. "Gomen Kyon, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I love you, but I can't deny my duties because of my relations with you" he apologized.

Kyon leaned against his chest quietly, sensing Itsuki's heartbeat in his chest. Fast and frightened, sensing that Itsuki was just as stressed as he was about all of this. He gripped Itsuki's arm supportively, hoping to ease his troubles, burying against his warm body. "You'd better make it up to me later" he groaned. They had both had a long morning leaving them both exhausted, emotionally and mentally. Both of them would need plenty of rest and relaxation after all of this mess.

Itsuki chuckled in amusement, though Haruhi was a wild case of unpredictability, Kyon was just as capable of being immature as well though he as probably unaware of it himself. But he found that endearing about him and would happily indulge. He felt like the luckiest person in the world sometimes, knowing his own little romance story was falling into place, even at the risk of angering god.

* * *

Kyon and Itsuki sat outside quietly, wanting to enjoy the sun and get out of the club-room. Given Haruhi's sulk had ended up with her cancelling the club for today, it meant they had plenty of free time for today. They had opted to get some drinks and a couple of snacks to tide them over for the morning. They had a lot to talk about and had been through a lot lately, so they deserved the break. No doubt the other club members would go looking for Haruhi or be sitting in the club room patiently.

Kyon had no idea of why the club hadn't fallen apart yet, Yuki had no reason to remain, aside from being able to collect data on Haruhi by observing her. She was part of the book club and spent most of the club activities reading and minding her own business. Though she was indeed one of the most powerful members, she tended to remain neutral. He wondered how she found her own way to cope with half of the crap she did because of her job.

Mikuru would become the bait of Haruhi's vented anger, given she liked to harass Mikuru on nearly a daily basis. So, god knows what she would do now knowing Kyon was in a relationship with someone. No doubt Mikuru would become a suspect and the possible outlet for her jealousy. If she knew that Kyon was dating Itsuki, Haruhi would definitely act strangely about it. Shock and confusion obviously, but personal questions on whether he was gay or not. Despite his obvious attraction to female's with ponytails for one thing.

But there was no simple answer for that, Kyon wasn't gay but he wasn't straight either. Gender had never been an issue for him when it came to relationships, but he wasn't attracted to just anyone. Itsuki was the first guy he had ever met that he had feelings for. He had a crush on Mikuru obviously but was unable to enter a relationship with her despite their mutual feelings. Nagato was indeed cute but they simply shared platonic feelings for one another, nothing romantic between them.

"Say Kyon, I was thinking. Since you have harboured romantic attraction to miss Asahina, miss Asakura and now me. Am I correct to assume you are bisexual in nature?" Itsuki asked curiously. He had never thought that Kyon was the type of person who was attracted to men, not that he minded. He didn't judge people on the way they chose to live their lives or whom they felt affections for. He was just curious to whether or not he was the first boy that Kyon had ever been in love with.

Kyon blushed, he had never really felt attracted to any of the other guys in his class or his male friends. Itsuki had been the first person to earn his affections for the same gender, which was awkward for him to admit. "I… I don't know. You're the first guy…. this… this is new for me" he confessed nervously. As well as Haruhi, he knew how a lot of society looked towards people like them. Treating same sex couples with acceptance or isolation, you could never predict what reaction you would get from someone.

Itsuki hummed, he had to admit being the guy to win Kyon's love felt rather special. Especially if he hadn't had a crush on any other guy until now. It was possible given they were teens that Kyon was still working things out. He then smiled warmly "I see, well I'm very happy to be that special to you". He had never really had the time for a relationship with another person because of his job, but he was indeed happy to have such a convenient relationship. They would have no secrets or lies, given Kyon knew all about his work.

Kyon shifted, it felt awkward to admit such a personal part of himself yet very relieving to talk about. But he didn't want to be the only one to share such personal secrets "So what about you? Your awfully comfortable about this" he asked abruptly. He didn't seem flustered or nervous about being in a same sex relationship. He was always so chill about everything, nothing seemed to bother him whatsoever. Making him wonder if Itsuki had ever been in a relationship with another guy before now.

Itsuki stared at him in surprise, then a warm smile came across his face. "In all honesty you're the first guy I've ever dated too. But I've always had a strong attraction to both men and women. But I didn't think high school was the best place to pursue a same sex relationship. But you affected me in such a strong way that I couldn't deny a relationship with you. Now I'm so content with our current relationship I don't want to let you go". Kyon was abrupt, sarcastic, indifferent yet empathetic. He wasn't a jerk, but he was generally a guy who kept to himself but was friendly. He was always revealing something new, making himself appear hard to predict and yet so easy to read. So complicated and yet so much fun.

Kyon blushed, until now he had just seen himself as an ordinary guy. So, it was rather a surprise to have someone think so highly of him and risk their job just to date him. he couldn't help but feel a little flattered at the fact Itsuki saw him in such a high status. He averted his gaze awkwardly, gripping the cup in his hands for comfort. Not really knowing what to say about such a gesture "I guess I should take it as a serious compliment that your disobeying god to be with me" he muttered. He had never really been popular with either gender until now. But here he was in this situation, he couldn't say his life was ever drama free that was for sure.

Itsuki smiled fondly at him, it often saddened him that Kyon couldn't see what an amazing person he was. Let alone why people like Mikuru, himself or Haruhi would be attracted to him. But that just made him even more endearing, causing him to fall for him harder. He reached out his hand slowly, intertwining his fingers affectionately with Kyon. Wanting to chase away every doubt and every fear that lay in his heart. "You know, you're adorable when you get embarrassed. I could eat you up" he teased.

Kyon pouted, getting the feeling that from now on teasing like this would become popular now that they were an item. However, compared to how irate Haruhi made him, Itsuki's mind games tended to be more playful and innocent than really trying to get under his skin. "So, what does this mean for us now? I mean we've been involved for a couple of months now. Haruhi is obviously suspicious of who it is and will get jealous, so how are we going to keep this under wraps?" he asked in hesitation. Haruhi wasn't stupid, it was only so long before she found out the truth of why she had been rejected.

Itsuki sighed heavily, a thoughtful expression on his face "Well we will have to be more careful about it at school around Haruhi. But outside of school we can carry on as usual I suppose". They could meet each other outside of school and continue on with their hobbies and meetups. They could walk to school back and forth; study dates and regular dates like at Christmas. They could say at one another's homes at weekends etc, just being able to make time for one another. But it would be worth it, relationships were hard work after all.

Kyon nodded, they would indeed carry on as usual but given how nosy Haruhi was and club activities. It would be hard to keep things hidden around her, especially given her strong feelings for him. Given how jealous she would get trying to figure out whom he was dating. But he somehow had the feeling they would be ok despite it all. He was good at avoiding subjects and getting her to drop things with enough persuasion, but that would only work for so long. But it was a start.

* * *

Haruhi sat sulkily on the roof, her eyes red from crying and filled with pain and frustration. Feeling like an idiot for allowing herself to develop such stupid feelings and lose sight of what was important, the club. Somehow, she had let that moron Kyon get under her skin. Kyon had always been the kind of guy who kept to himself, often distracted and disconnected from the world around him. How similar he was to Nagato at times was rather terrifying indeed. There was no way she would allow him to quit the club, but she knew that his focus would also be elsewhere from now on.

Wondering what girl had been so lucky to have earned Kyon's affections, the fond smile he had made was one she had never seen before. She had to be pretty awesome as a person to be able to get such a reaction out of him. Yuki spent her time with a nose in a book, seemed very apathetic and indifferent towards her classmates. She spent a lot of time with Kyon but when they did, there was little to no chemistry between them. Sometimes she didn't wonder that Nagato was asexual as well as aromantic

He had been rather off ever since she confessed to him, going out of his way to avoid the subject and her in general. During the festive season she had asked Kyon to hang out with her, but he had never gotten back to her, while he usually was so compliant. Ever since he met this new person, he had been different. His mind hadn't been focused on the club and obviously elsewhere.

Mikuru had an obvious crush on Kyon and the feeling was mutual. She wasn't stupid, she had seen the way they looked at each other and how Mikuru always went to Kyon for help. How he got turned on by her in costumes and the look he gave when she tried to put her hair in a ponytail. Had they started seeing each other in secret? How long had they been involved? Had they had sex yet? Just how had they gotten together and why had they kept it from one another? She felt her eyes stinging, feeling betrayed and angry. She had made it so obvious that she liked Kyon so how could he go and date someone else? Did he really think that he could find a more interesting girl than her?

She always asked him to hang out with her when it came the club, she always tried to get paired up with him to find things to do with the club. She made sure that he worked hard and that he never slacked off. She knew she was bitchy sometimes, but she couldn't help it. She just got so frustrated at the fact he couldn't see how much she cared. When was the last time she gave a guy the time of day, god damn it?! "Idiot Kyon, you idiot, idiot, stupid jerk" she muttered sulkily. Sure, go ahead and be happy with his new dumb more girlfriend with a ponytail. What did she care? A relationship obviously meant more to him than the club.

Her stomach and throat hurt from crying and she was hungry, her eyes and face were a mess. She felt like crap and she didn't want to go back to class, why not just spend the day in the nurse's office and get off school? Anything to avoid people seeing how awful she looked. Feelings of love were simply a lapse in judgment, right? Like a mental illness, allowing the chemicals in her brain to feel something for another human being. Distracting herself from what was important and believing such trivial and temporary feelings could mean something. Why the hell would she ever care about stupid things like relationships or dates? When did she have the time to waste on such matters? She had better ways to spend her time than mooning over one person.

She rested her head on her knees wearily, wishing time would just stop and everything would just disappear. Wanting to be alone with her thoughts, hating every couple that was happy. Wanting them to be as miserable as she was. Why was she the only one that had to feel this way? There were plenty of her classmates who had relationships, so why couldn't she get the guy she wanted too? It wasn't fair.


End file.
